6 Things I Hated Hearing as a Pastor

This morning I read Dr. Thom Rainer’s excellent post entitled Six Traits of a Church DisrupterHis post made me think of things that I’ve heard from church members during my 27 years of serving as a pastor. Keep in mind, that I’ve been blessed to hear great encouragement and much-needed, Godly advice through the years, but these are things that I always hated to hear as a pastor.

6 Things I Hated Hearing as a Pastor

1. People are saying. This usually mean’t that the person talking to me had a personal concern about something. As I matured as a pastor I began to ask “what people?” “Who exactly?” “Please ask them to come and talk with me because I would be happy to talk to them in person about his matter.”

…what people? Who exactly?”

2. You should have told me about this. It’s true that communication is extremely important and there were times that I didn’t communicate well, but usually this phrase came from someone who simply wanted to control decisions. Although we went through all the proper church channels in making the decision, they were upset that their opinion was not sought.

3. You should preach on ___________. Church members should feel the freedom to offer sermon topics to their pastor. Personally, I’ve been overly defensive in this area at times. It wasn’t the suggestion itself, but the motive and spirit behind the suggestion that really got under my skin.

…really got under my skin.”

4. If you’re in the area. “If you’re in the area, go by and see my uncle that I haven’t spoken to in 25 years.” These type of requests always made me feel guilty. Usually they were referring to someone who lived hours away. I made a few of these visits through the years, but they often felt very awkward. The person making the “suggestion” was actually the one who needed to go see their uncle instead of asking me to do so.

5. No one came and saw me in the hospital. I know that I failed to make some hospital visits through the years, but this statement usually came from someone who never let the church know that they were in the hospital. With the new privacy laws surrounding one’s medical records, a church has NO WAY of knowing unless someone tells them.

6. That will never work. Sometimes this phrase is accompanied with “our last pastor tried that and it didn’t work.” The fact that the last pastor also felt led to try the same thing is evidence that God is leading in that direction. Very likely the timing just wasn’t right when the last pastor tried it. This phrase usually comes from individuals who do not like change.

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3 Reasons to Smile More

My wife works for one of the finest dentists in Kentucky, so we often talk about teeth at our house. Lots of customers come to their office wanting to improve their smile. I think that they’re wise in doing so, because there are good reasons to improve your smile and even more good reasons to smile more often.

3 Reasons to Smile More

1. We will make more money. According to a recent study, the way we look has a direct bearing on our paycheck. According to the study, those who rated lower in appearance earned less than those who rated average or above.

…the biggest factor is the smile on our face.”

Appearance includes the style and neatness of our clothing, the shine on our shoes, the crease in our shirt, our choice of colors, the way we fix our hair, our makeup, and all the elements of our personal grooming. However, the biggest factor is the smile on our face, followed closely by our attitude and sense of humor. A good sense of humor and a positive attitude are particularly important as we move into the upper echelons of business.

2. We will make more friends. People do not want to be around an ol’ stiff, stick-in-the-mud! They are attracted to a person who is positive and friendly. A genuine smile is a good indicator of the type of person we are which causes others to want to get to know us.

3. We will make more converts.  In case all of this talk sounds less than spiritual, remember that we are ambassadors for Christ. As wise, conscientious ambassadors we want to improve our “abilities.” Let’s improve our respectability, approachability, and likeability. In this way we can draw people to us in order to point them to Christ!

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8 Reasons to Hire An Interim Pastor

When a pastor leaves, it can be a difficult time for the church. Even if the pastor’s departure is somewhat desired by the church, it is still a very challenging season. One of the keys for success during this time is for the church to hire a good interim pastor. Here are a number of reasons why most churches should hire an interim pastor.

8 Reasons to Hire An Interim Pastor

1. The church needs consistency. When a church chooses to use guest preachers every week during this time of transition there is no consistency in the pulpit. This often leads to tension and confusion in the church.

2. You protect the doctrine of the church. It is much easier to vet one interim pastor than to vet a different guest preacher every weekend. A church is more open for doctrinal errors when using guest preachers, especially when those guest preachers are lay-members of the church who have no formal theological training.

A church is more open for doctrinal errors when using a guest preacher…”

3. The church needs time to grieve. When a beloved pastor leaves there is a time of grieving. Church members may not recognize that they are dealing with grief, but they are. It is important for them to work through that process before the new pastor begins so they will be emotionally ready to embrace him as their new pastor once he arrives.

4. There is a leadership void. When a pastor leaves it creates a leadership void. If the church does not hire an interim pastor, two dangers exist. First, the void does not get filled and the church lacks direction. Second, the void does get filled with church members who should not be leading and who are reluctant to relinquish the role once the new pastor is in place.

5. It gives the Search Team breathing room. The Search Team looking for the new pastor is under a great deal of pressure. The church has asked them to find their next pastor which is a huge responsibility. Having a good interim in place will relieve some of that pressure and help them to not feel rushed.

6. Fresh eyes. An interim pastor will have “fresh eyes.” He will have the ability and authority to address issues that exist with the facility, worship services, staffing, etc.

7. New ideas. Most interim pastors have years of successful ministry. As a result, they will have lots of new ideas that can help the church continue to move forward during this interim period.

8. Staff guidance. Even the most capable church staff will find it very awkward if nobody is filling the office of “pastor.” An interim pastor gives them someone with whom they can talk, plan, and consult.

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4 Ways to Help Busy Families

God created the family before He created the church.  Because of this, the church should be especially sensitive to the challenges and pressures families face today.  Here are a few ways the church can provide much-needed help to families.

1. Decrease the scheduling demands.  Many churches expect people to be at the church every night of the week, but this just isn’t possible or healthy for the family.  Churches should streamline Sunday activities to free up time for family outings.

2. Provide opportunities for families to serve together through the church. Family-oriented mission projects and service teams are great ways to allow families to serve together.

3. Provide opportunities for families to fellowship together. Family picnics, church fellowships, pizza parties, father/child outings, and mother/child outings are just a few ways to bring the family together.  When planning for the family, the church should be aware that many do not have “traditional” families. In response, churches should provide opportunities for single-parent and blended families as well.

4. Supplement costs. Often larger families cannot afford to send more than one child to camp or on a special trip. Providing scholarships or fund-raising opportunities for these families will meet an important need.

In some ways, the church becomes an extended family.  The Bible teaches that the bond between God’s children in this extended family should be strong, authentic, and transparent.

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4 Groups in EVERY Church

Through the years, I served as a pastor of a small mission church in an eastern Kentucky coal camp, a community church in the middle of the Hatfield-McCoy feud area, a county-seat church south of Cincinnati, and a regional church near Louisville. In all of these churches, the four groups identified by Dr. Gary L. McIntosh in his book There’s Hope for Your Church existed. All of these groups demand attention from the pastor, but a wise pastor will use his relational time strategically. A pastor only has a certain amount of time and energy to invest–often church revitalization hinges on which group gains his focus.

. . . church revitalization hinges on which group gains his focus!

4 GROUPS IN YOUR CHURCH

1. VIP’s – Very Important People:  Of course, everyone is important to the Lord, but this group is made up of church leaders who already share the vision of the pastor and will help bring about revitalization in the church ministry. If they are not already in key ministry positions in the church, the pastor seeking to bring about church renewal should work to place them in those positions as quickly as possible.

2. VTP’s – Very Trainable People:  Some people are not ready for leadership, but they show potential. They are the people the pastor should mentor each week and the people with whom he should share his vision.

3. VNP’s – Very Nice People:  The people in the third group are not current leaders in the church and will likely never be leaders in the future. They are loyal to the pastor and share the vision the Lord has given him for the church. They do not cause trouble and are generally supportive of all of the ministries of the church.

4. VDP’s – Very Draining People:  The last designation by McIntosh is a group of people who will be a barrier to church revitalization. They will often cause great pain to those who want to improve the vitality of the church.

If we desire to be a revitalization-minded pastor, we must decide where to invest our time. The natural tendency is to spend the majority of our time with the VDP’s because they want to be heard, but that is rarely productive. Instead, we should invest our time with the VIP’s and the VTP’s which will produce the most fruit towards church revitalization.

For more information about Church Revitalization, see the following posts:

Please contact me at the Kentucky Baptist Convention if we can help your church in any way.

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4 Marks of a PERFECT Church Member

The truth is–there is no perfect church member, so what is the target? How would we describe an ideal church member? Does the Bible give us any direction?

In the book of 2 Timothy, the Apostle Paul writes about a man named Onesiphorus. This man was a member of the church of Ephesus who made the long journey to minister to Paul when he was being held in the Mamertine prison in Rome. Paul shares several positive traits from the life of Onesiphorus that every church member should model.

4 Marks of An Ideal Church Member

1. He was a refresher. Paul said that Onesiphorus “often refreshed” him (2 Tim. 1:16). Every pastor and church could benefit from church members like that–men and women who are positive and encouraging. It’s very common to see the opposite, but this man refreshed Paul in Ephesus and in Rome.

2. He was loyal. We know from the Bible that many people deserted Paul when persecution accelerated. Among those were Phygelus, Hermogenes, Demas, and Alexander the metal worker. According to the Bible, Onesiphorus “was not ashamed” of Paul’s chains and the fact that he was in prison (2 Tim. 1:16). He stood with Paul in Ephesus when it was popular to do so and he stood with Paul in Rome when it was unpopular and dangerous to do so! Don’t you just love people like that? When the chips are down; they’re still around!

When the chips are down; they’re still around!

 3. He was diligent. It was difficult for Onesiphorus to locate Paul in the city of Rome since he was being held in a damp, dark cell. But, he “searched hard” for the Apostle until he located him (2 Tim. 1:17). He showed great diligence. Churches need members who are diligent to the task(s) to which God has called them.

4. He was a helper. Paul said to the Christians in Ephesus “You know very well in how many ways he (Onesiphorus) helped me in Ephesus” (2 Tim. 1:18). I’m not sure there could be a better title than “helper.” I would love someone to say about me, “you know how many ways that Steve Rice helped me.” May God give us more churches who are filled with “helpers.”

PRAYER: “Lord, help each of us to be ideal church members. Help us to be refreshers, help us to be loyal, help us to be diligent, and help us to be helpers. Lord, we ask this for the betterment of Your Church and for Your glory! Amen.”

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5 Ways to Follow-up

The KEY to all guest follow-up at church is to obtain the contact information of the guest, but what do we do with the information the following week? Here are a few suggestions that I have practiced during the years.

5 Ways to Follow-up with Guest Contact Information

1. Send a personalized email (Monday). Send an email on Monday just after lunch. Make sure to personalize the email as much as possible by using the name of the guest throughout and by mentioning something you talked about if you met in person at the service. Jot down a quick note after talking to a guest at the weekend service, so you can remember it in the Monday email.

2. Send a handwritten note with a gift (Wednesday). Write a brief note and mail it on Wednesday, so the guest will receive it on Thursday or Friday. Include a $5.00 gift card from your local ice cream shop as a special treat. There is something special about receiving a handwritten note since very few people write them in today’s fast-paced world.

3. Invite them to attend again. Make sure that you personally invite them to attend again the following weekend or a weekend in the near future. Do that in both the email and the personalized note. Say something like “John, again, I’m so glad you attended this past weekend and I want to personally invite you attend again real soon.”

4. Make a personal visit. Depending on the culture, a personal visit can be a good practice. Make it a doorstep visit and drop off a nice church information packet. As always, be sure to invite them to attend again real soon.

5. Remember their name next time they attend. This is hard work, but it can be accomplished with good organization. Make a list of the guests who shared their contact information along with the weekend they attended. Carry this on your phone or in your Bible. Look over the list often and memorize as many of the names as possible. Utilize the list when needed without letting the guest know that you are doing so.

For more posts on similar topics, also see:

Six Keys to Obtaining Guest Information

Churches and Car Dealerships

4 Things That Should Happen In the First 7 Minutes

7 Minutes and Counting

 

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