5 Commitments for Grandparents

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Becoming a grandparent changes everything–especially your perspective.

Laura and I have three children and four grandchildren. When our children were growing up, much of life was about raising them, providing for them, teaching them, and preparing them for adulthood. But becoming Pop and MiMi has caused us to think more deeply about one word:

Legacy.

Psalm 71:18 expresses a prayer that increasingly speaks to my heart:

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.

There will come a day when my grandchildren will know me primarily through their memories. That makes me ask: What do I want them to remember about Pop?

I hope they remember laughter, family gatherings, and good times. I certainly hope they know how deeply Pop and MiMi loved them. But more than anything, I want them to remember that Pop loved Jesus. Here are five commitments I believe will help us become effective Christian grandparents:

5 Commitments for Christian Grandparents

  1. Walk faithfully with God. Our grandchildren need more than our advice. They need an example. I want mine to see that my faith is more than something I preached—it is how I lived.
  2. Pray consistently for them. I cannot control my grandchildren’s futures, but I can pray for their salvation, friends, decisions, future spouses, and lifelong faithfulness to Christ.
  3. Tell them the stories. Psalm 78 reminds us to tell the coming generation about the works of God. Our grandchildren need to hear how God saved us, provided for us, answered prayer, and carried us through difficult seasons.
  4. Give them your presence. Grandchildren need our time, attention, encouragement, and affection. The relationship we build today may become the bridge over which spiritual influence travels tomorrow.
  5. Finish well. I don’t want my best spiritual years to be behind me. I want my grandchildren to see Pop loving Jesus, reading his Bible, serving others, loving MiMi and our family, and remaining faithful all the way to the finish line.

Someday my grandchildren may have some of my possessions. They may find photographs, books, or an old Bible filled with notes. But I want to leave them something far more valuable.

I don’t simply want to leave something TO my grandchildren. By God’s grace, I want to leave something IN them.

“Dear God, please make it so!”

8 Characteristics of a Dying Church

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In Mark Clifton’s Reclaiming Glory: Revitalizing Dying Churches, he identifies eight characteristics of a dying church. Here are the eight characteristics paraphrased:

  1. They value the process of decision-making more than the outcome of those decisions.
    Discussion, debate, committees, and procedures can become more important than actually accomplishing the mission.
  2. They value their own preferences over the needs of the unreached.
    Personal comfort, traditions, music, schedules, and familiar ways of doing church take precedence over reaching people with the gospel.
  3. They have lost a clear sense of purpose.
    The church becomes focused on maintaining the institution rather than making disciples and glorifying God.
  4. They have an obsession with the past.
    The congregation remembers what the church used to be and may spend more energy preserving that memory than pursuing what God desires now.
  5. They have a disproportionate focus on internal needs.
    Energy, money, attention, and ministry increasingly revolve around the remaining members rather than the surrounding community.
  6. They mistakenly believe the community exists for the church rather than the church existing to serve the community.
    Instead of asking, “How can we reach and serve our neighbors?” they tend to ask, “Why aren’t people coming to us?”
  7. They try to minimize the pain of decline through excessive activity and maintaining unfruitful structures.
    A full calendar can create the appearance of health even when little disciple-making fruit is being produced. Simply staying busy is not the same as fulfilling the Great Commission.
  8. They confuse caring for the building with caring for the church and community.
    Preserving the facility and “keeping the doors open” can become the mission itself rather than using the church’s resources to advance the gospel.

To summarize, a dying church gradually makes the following shifts:

  • from mission to maintenance
  • from outsiders to insiders
  • from the future to the past

If your church is struggling and you need assistance, contact the Church Consulting & Revitalization team at the Kentucky Baptist Convention.

4 Keys to Leadership

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Leader.3

During my reading over the last few years, I have read dozens of books on leadership. Allow me to summarize four leadership keys that stand out to me from those books.

1. Leaders are born AND made. Leadership is defined as “the ability to influence others.” Leaders can lead people for noble purposes or for evil purposes. The question often comes up, “Are you born a leader or do you learn to be a leader?” The answer to the question is “yes” and “yes.” Some people are born with natural leadership abilities, but leadership can be learned as well.

2. Jesus was a servant leader. People will follow leaders who do not ask their followers to do something that they would not do. By serving others as leaders, we earn the right to lead. People “vest” us with true authority as a result of our service to them.

“The greatest among you will be your servant.” Matthew 23:11

3. Integrity is imperative. The real test of leaders is in their private life. Image is what people think we are; integrity is what we really are! Leaders need to be people of integrity—honest, genuine, consistent, and transparent. They need to have strong spiritual disciplines in the areas of Bible study, prayer, and church attendance.

4. Leaders need to carefully guard their time. Elton Trueblood wrote, “A public man, though he is necessarily available at many times, must learn to hide. If he is always available, he is not worth enough when he is available.” Gordon MacDonald asked one of the most profound questions a leader must face, “Are we going to order our inner worlds so that they will create influence on the outer world? Or will we neglect our private worlds and thus permit the outer sphere to shape us?” This is the choice we have to make every day of our lives. That’s what Paul seemed to say in Romans 12:2.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this [outer] world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 (NIV)

“Don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold.” Romans 12:2 (Phillips)

Make A List to SUCCESS

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As a young man, Benjamin Franklin resolved to attain the habits of virtue that would lead to success by making a game out of self-improvement.  He wrote thirteen key virtues in a notebook, one to a page, and checked off each instance in the day when he failed in one of them.  He focused intensely on one virtue per week, running through his list four times every year.  His thirteen virtues and goals were as follows:

  • Temperance
  • Silence
  • Order
  • Resolution
  • Frugality
  • Industry
  • Sincerity
  • Justice
  • Moderation
  • Cleanliness
  • Tranquility
  • Chastity
  • Humility

Interestingly, this list is similar to the one the Apostle Paul gives us in Philippians:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.” Phil. 4:8-9

Could a similar list make a difference in our lives today?  I suspect we could each benefit from such a reminder!

Real Men Needed

Posted in Church Revitalization, Preaching2 Comments

“For from day to day men came to David to help him, until there was a great army, like an army of God.”  1 Chronicles 12:22 (ESV)

After King Saul was killed on Mt. Gilboa along with his sons, Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malchishua, the people of Israel gathered around David at Hebron. There they anointed him king over Israel just like the prophet Samuel had done earlier in Bethlehem. God began to send men to David to assist him in his new position of leadership. These men were mighty men! For example:

  • Jashobeam, a Hachmonite killed 300 men at one time with a spear.
  • Eleazer, the son of Dodo, single-handedly took a stand on a plot of ground in a barley field and killed every member of the Philistine army fighting in that battle.
  • Benaiah, the son of Jehoiada, went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion.

These are the kind of men God sent to David. Real men! Men with hair on their chest. Men with backbone. Men who could fight. Men with scars. Men who had an instinct to protect. Men who weren’t afraid to get down and dirty when the job demanded that they do so.

Real men! Men with hair on their chest.

When I think of the overwhelming need for revitalization in our churches in the Southern Baptist Convention, I’m convinced that the real solution is a simple spiritual solution. I believe that our churches are THIRSTY for men! Real men! Men with a spiritual backbone. Men who know God. Men who pray. Men who would die for Jesus and live for their family. Men who fight spiritual battles with the same intensity that David’s men fought physical battles!

Men who would die for Jesus and live for their family.

PRAYER:  “Oh Lord, send men like this to Your church! Real men who will battle the spiritual forces of evil to protect your Bride. Hurry Lord….the need is desperate!”