5 Commitments for Grandparents

Becoming a grandparent changes everything–especially your perspective.

Laura and I have three children and four grandchildren. When our children were growing up, much of life was about raising them, providing for them, teaching them, and preparing them for adulthood. But becoming Pop and MiMi has caused us to think more deeply about one word:

Legacy.

Psalm 71:18 expresses a prayer that increasingly speaks to my heart:

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.

There will come a day when my grandchildren will know me primarily through their memories. That makes me ask: What do I want them to remember about Pop?

I hope they remember laughter, family gatherings, and good times. I certainly hope they know how deeply Pop and MiMi loved them. But more than anything, I want them to remember that Pop loved Jesus. Here are five commitments I believe will help us become effective Christian grandparents:

5 Commitments for Christian Grandparents

  1. Walk faithfully with God. Our grandchildren need more than our advice. They need an example. I want mine to see that my faith is more than something I preached—it is how I lived.
  2. Pray consistently for them. I cannot control my grandchildren’s futures, but I can pray for their salvation, friends, decisions, future spouses, and lifelong faithfulness to Christ.
  3. Tell them the stories. Psalm 78 reminds us to tell the coming generation about the works of God. Our grandchildren need to hear how God saved us, provided for us, answered prayer, and carried us through difficult seasons.
  4. Give them your presence. Grandchildren need our time, attention, encouragement, and affection. The relationship we build today may become the bridge over which spiritual influence travels tomorrow.
  5. Finish well. I don’t want my best spiritual years to be behind me. I want my grandchildren to see Pop loving Jesus, reading his Bible, serving others, loving MiMi and our family, and remaining faithful all the way to the finish line.

Someday my grandchildren may have some of my possessions. They may find photographs, books, or an old Bible filled with notes. But I want to leave them something far more valuable.

I don’t simply want to leave something TO my grandchildren. By God’s grace, I want to leave something IN them.

“Dear God, please make it so!”

8 Characteristics of a Dying Church

In Mark Clifton’s Reclaiming Glory: Revitalizing Dying Churches, he identifies eight characteristics of a dying church. Here are the eight characteristics paraphrased:

  1. They value the process of decision-making more than the outcome of those decisions.
    Discussion, debate, committees, and procedures can become more important than actually accomplishing the mission.
  2. They value their own preferences over the needs of the unreached.
    Personal comfort, traditions, music, schedules, and familiar ways of doing church take precedence over reaching people with the gospel.
  3. They have lost a clear sense of purpose.
    The church becomes focused on maintaining the institution rather than making disciples and glorifying God.
  4. They have an obsession with the past.
    The congregation remembers what the church used to be and may spend more energy preserving that memory than pursuing what God desires now.
  5. They have a disproportionate focus on internal needs.
    Energy, money, attention, and ministry increasingly revolve around the remaining members rather than the surrounding community.
  6. They mistakenly believe the community exists for the church rather than the church existing to serve the community.
    Instead of asking, “How can we reach and serve our neighbors?” they tend to ask, “Why aren’t people coming to us?”
  7. They try to minimize the pain of decline through excessive activity and maintaining unfruitful structures.
    A full calendar can create the appearance of health even when little disciple-making fruit is being produced. Simply staying busy is not the same as fulfilling the Great Commission.
  8. They confuse caring for the building with caring for the church and community.
    Preserving the facility and “keeping the doors open” can become the mission itself rather than using the church’s resources to advance the gospel.

To summarize, a dying church gradually makes the following shifts:

  • from mission to maintenance
  • from outsiders to insiders
  • from the future to the past

If your church is struggling and you need assistance, contact the Church Consulting & Revitalization team at the Kentucky Baptist Convention.

4 Keys to Leadership

Leader.3

During my reading over the last few years, I have read dozens of books on leadership. Allow me to summarize four leadership keys that stand out to me from those books.

1. Leaders are born AND made. Leadership is defined as “the ability to influence others.” Leaders can lead people for noble purposes or for evil purposes. The question often comes up, “Are you born a leader or do you learn to be a leader?” The answer to the question is “yes” and “yes.” Some people are born with natural leadership abilities, but leadership can be learned as well.

2. Jesus was a servant leader. People will follow leaders who do not ask their followers to do something that they would not do. By serving others as leaders, we earn the right to lead. People “vest” us with true authority as a result of our service to them.

“The greatest among you will be your servant.” Matthew 23:11

3. Integrity is imperative. The real test of leaders is in their private life. Image is what people think we are; integrity is what we really are! Leaders need to be people of integrity—honest, genuine, consistent, and transparent. They need to have strong spiritual disciplines in the areas of Bible study, prayer, and church attendance.

4. Leaders need to carefully guard their time. Elton Trueblood wrote, “A public man, though he is necessarily available at many times, must learn to hide. If he is always available, he is not worth enough when he is available.” Gordon MacDonald asked one of the most profound questions a leader must face, “Are we going to order our inner worlds so that they will create influence on the outer world? Or will we neglect our private worlds and thus permit the outer sphere to shape us?” This is the choice we have to make every day of our lives. That’s what Paul seemed to say in Romans 12:2.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this [outer] world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 (NIV)

“Don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold.” Romans 12:2 (Phillips)

One Circle at a Time

Churches often ask how they can reach their community and the world with the gospel? Programs have their place. Events can help. Strategies matter. But sometimes the most effective path forward is not something new—it is something faithful, simple, and biblical.

Oscar Thompson’s classic evangelism approach in Concentric Circles of Concern offers just that. Though written decades ago, its wisdom remains timely for Kentucky churches seeking to make a lasting impact both at home and abroad.

Thompson challenged believers to think relationally. Instead of beginning with strangers, he urged Christians to begin with the people God has already placed in their lives. He described a series of “concentric circles” that move outward from the individual believer:

The Power of the Circles

The principle is simple: evangelism flows naturally through relationships. Before we can expect to reach the world, we must first be faithful in our own circle.

1. The believer. Thompson insisted that evangelism begins with a vibrant personal walk with Christ. A cold heart will not produce a warm witness. Churches that want to reach their communities must first cultivate spiritual depth among their members. Prayer, repentance, and daily obedience are foundational. When believers walk closely with Christ, witnessing becomes less of a program and more of a natural overflow.

2. Immediate family. Scripture consistently teaches that faith begins in the home. Before we organize large outreach events, we should ask: Are we discipling our own households?

In Kentucky, where family ties run deep, this circle holds particular weight. When fathers and mothers live out their faith with integrity, children see the gospel modeled before it is ever explained. A church that equips families to share Christ at the dinner table is laying a foundation that will outlast any event on the calendar.

3. Extended family. Many Kentuckians have extended family networks that stretch across counties and even state lines. Thompson encouraged believers to list the names of relatives who need Christ and pray for them specifically.

4. Close friends. These are often the most fruitful gospel conversations because trust already exists. Holiday gatherings, ball games, and backyard cookouts can become divine appointments. When believers approach these relationships intentionally and prayerfully, the gospel spreads naturally.

5. Neighbors and associates. Every church sits in a community filled with people who may never walk through its doors unless someone personally invites them. Thompson’s strategy challenges churches to shift from attractional thinking to relational engagement. Instead of waiting for the community to come to us, we go to them—across the street, across the fence, across the office hallway.

Imagine if every member of a church identified five neighbors and committed to pray for them daily. Imagine if every Sunday School class made a list of coworkers represented in their group and began praying intentionally for open doors. Revival would not be a distant hope. KBC churches would experience much-needed revitalization.

6. Acquaintances. We encounter people every day in stores, restaurants, civic organizations, and ballfields. These brief connections may seem insignificant, but God often uses simple conversations to open eternal doors.

7. The world. The final circle he refers to as “person X.” “Person X” represents the world. Thompson taught that churches best reach the nations when their members are faithful in their immediate relationships. A congregation that cannot share Christ with its neighbors will struggle to sustain passion for the unreached. When local evangelism thrives, global missions flourish. Hearts stirred for the lost across the street will also beat for the lost across the ocean.

Personal Note. Praise the Lord, I have recently seen this play out in my family. Our daughter and son-in-law took the time to talk to their children about Christ and to take them regularly to church. Both sets of grandparents regular talked to them about the Gospel as well. As a result, our two oldest grandsons individually began to ask questions about following Christ. My son-in-law shared the Gospel with each of them privately and each of them accepted Christ as their Savior. Their pastor gave me the glorious privilege of baptizing each of them in the church where they attend. Thank You Lord for the power of the Gospel and for the opportunities You give us within our concentric circles.

Love is FIRST!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

Recently I’ve been preaching a sermon series on the fruit of the Holy Spirit from Galatians 5. When I addressed the fruit of love, one of my points was that “love is first on the list.” After a casual reading of the text, you might be tempted to say “duh.” “Brother Steve, that’s so obvious! You went to seminary for that? And don’t you have a doctorate?” Look, I know it’s listed first, but it’s not just listed first, it IS first.

“It’s not just listed first, it IS first!”

In the New American Commentary, Timothy George wrote, “It is significant that love heads the list of these nine graces of the Christian life. Paul might well have placed a period after love and moved on into the conclusion of his letter, for love is not merely ‘first among equals’ in this listing but rather the source and fountain from which all of the other graces flow.’”

3 Key Conclusions about LOVE:

God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 teaches this marvelous truth. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:7-8. This is not sentimental language. This is foundational theology. God does not merely show love — God is love.

The Holy Spirit is God. The Holy Spirit is mentioned by name is the second verse of the Bible and referenced in the first verse because He is part of the Trinity. He fully participated in the creation of the world. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” Genesis 1:1-2

The Holy Spirit is love. Since God is love and since the Holy Spirit is God, the Holy Spirit is love. He wants to produce the fruit of love in our lives above everything else. He wants to produce a love for God, a love for fellow believers, and a love for those who are lost without Christ.

Love is FIRST on God’s list. Is love first on our list and first in our lives? When we’re full of the Holy Spirit, the answer to both those questions will be YES!