Category: Life Happens

5 Commitments for Grandparents

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Becoming a grandparent changes everything–especially your perspective.

Laura and I have three children and four grandchildren. When our children were growing up, much of life was about raising them, providing for them, teaching them, and preparing them for adulthood. But becoming Pop and MiMi has caused us to think more deeply about one word:

Legacy.

Psalm 71:18 expresses a prayer that increasingly speaks to my heart:

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.

There will come a day when my grandchildren will know me primarily through their memories. That makes me ask: What do I want them to remember about Pop?

I hope they remember laughter, family gatherings, and good times. I certainly hope they know how deeply Pop and MiMi loved them. But more than anything, I want them to remember that Pop loved Jesus. Here are five commitments I believe will help us become effective Christian grandparents:

5 Commitments for Christian Grandparents

  1. Walk faithfully with God. Our grandchildren need more than our advice. They need an example. I want mine to see that my faith is more than something I preached—it is how I lived.
  2. Pray consistently for them. I cannot control my grandchildren’s futures, but I can pray for their salvation, friends, decisions, future spouses, and lifelong faithfulness to Christ.
  3. Tell them the stories. Psalm 78 reminds us to tell the coming generation about the works of God. Our grandchildren need to hear how God saved us, provided for us, answered prayer, and carried us through difficult seasons.
  4. Give them your presence. Grandchildren need our time, attention, encouragement, and affection. The relationship we build today may become the bridge over which spiritual influence travels tomorrow.
  5. Finish well. I don’t want my best spiritual years to be behind me. I want my grandchildren to see Pop loving Jesus, reading his Bible, serving others, loving MiMi and our family, and remaining faithful all the way to the finish line.

Someday my grandchildren may have some of my possessions. They may find photographs, books, or an old Bible filled with notes. But I want to leave them something far more valuable.

I don’t simply want to leave something TO my grandchildren. By God’s grace, I want to leave something IN them.

“Dear God, please make it so!”

4 Keys to Leadership

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Leader.3

During my reading over the last few years, I have read dozens of books on leadership. Allow me to summarize four leadership keys that stand out to me from those books.

1. Leaders are born AND made. Leadership is defined as “the ability to influence others.” Leaders can lead people for noble purposes or for evil purposes. The question often comes up, “Are you born a leader or do you learn to be a leader?” The answer to the question is “yes” and “yes.” Some people are born with natural leadership abilities, but leadership can be learned as well.

2. Jesus was a servant leader. People will follow leaders who do not ask their followers to do something that they would not do. By serving others as leaders, we earn the right to lead. People “vest” us with true authority as a result of our service to them.

“The greatest among you will be your servant.” Matthew 23:11

3. Integrity is imperative. The real test of leaders is in their private life. Image is what people think we are; integrity is what we really are! Leaders need to be people of integrity—honest, genuine, consistent, and transparent. They need to have strong spiritual disciplines in the areas of Bible study, prayer, and church attendance.

4. Leaders need to carefully guard their time. Elton Trueblood wrote, “A public man, though he is necessarily available at many times, must learn to hide. If he is always available, he is not worth enough when he is available.” Gordon MacDonald asked one of the most profound questions a leader must face, “Are we going to order our inner worlds so that they will create influence on the outer world? Or will we neglect our private worlds and thus permit the outer sphere to shape us?” This is the choice we have to make every day of our lives. That’s what Paul seemed to say in Romans 12:2.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this [outer] world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 (NIV)

“Don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold.” Romans 12:2 (Phillips)

Love is FIRST!

Posted in Life Happens, Ministry, Preaching, Uncategorized, WorshipLeave a comment

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23

Recently I’ve been preaching a sermon series on the fruit of the Holy Spirit from Galatians 5. When I addressed the fruit of love, one of my points was that “love is first on the list.” After a casual reading of the text, you might be tempted to say “duh.” “Brother Steve, that’s so obvious! You went to seminary for that? And don’t you have a doctorate?” Look, I know it’s listed first, but it’s not just listed first, it IS first.

“It’s not just listed first, it IS first!”

In the New American Commentary, Timothy George wrote, “It is significant that love heads the list of these nine graces of the Christian life. Paul might well have placed a period after love and moved on into the conclusion of his letter, for love is not merely ‘first among equals’ in this listing but rather the source and fountain from which all of the other graces flow.’”

3 Key Conclusions about LOVE:

God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 teaches this marvelous truth. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:7-8. This is not sentimental language. This is foundational theology. God does not merely show love — God is love.

The Holy Spirit is God. The Holy Spirit is mentioned by name is the second verse of the Bible and referenced in the first verse because He is part of the Trinity. He fully participated in the creation of the world. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” Genesis 1:1-2

The Holy Spirit is love. Since God is love and since the Holy Spirit is God, the Holy Spirit is love. He wants to produce the fruit of love in our lives above everything else. He wants to produce a love for God, a love for fellow believers, and a love for those who are lost without Christ.

Love is FIRST on God’s list. Is love first on our list and first in our lives? When we’re full of the Holy Spirit, the answer to both those questions will be YES!

    A Gift We Never Take for Granted

    Posted in Adoption, Church Chat, Discipleship, Life Happens, Ministry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

    Some joys come quietly, almost humbly, and then grow so large they change everything. That has been our experience in our granddaughter’s adoption.

    From the beginning, she has brought a kind of joy that settles deep into the soul. Her laughter fills our home, her presence softens our hearts, and reminds us what truly matters. We did not simply add a child to our family—we were entrusted with a life, and that responsibility has been one of the greatest blessings of our lives.

    One of the greatest joys has been watching what she means to our son and daughter-in-law. As parents, their love, patience, and devotion shine through in the way they care for her each day. She has deepened their bond, strengthened their home, and filled their lives with a beautiful purpose. Seeing them grow into their roles as mom and dad has been a gift to us as well, one that brings quiet pride and deep gratitude.

    Adoption is not a second-best story. It’s a beautiful story marked by sacrifice, courage, and love.

    Adoption is not a second-best story. It’s a beautiful story marked by sacrifice, courage, and love. We are profoundly grateful for her birth mother. Her decision was not easy, and we honor the strength it took for her to choose life and to place her child in the care of a family who would love her deeply. Because she chose life, we have the joy of watching this little girl grow, learn, and thrive.

    Our granddaughter’s life has enriched our family in ways words cannot capture. She has renewed our sense of wonder, strengthened our faith, and given us a living reminder that hope is not an abstract idea—it has a face, a name, and a future. She constantly reminds us that each life is precious in God’s sight.

    We are thankful. Thankful for adoption. Thankful for family. Thankful for a brave birth mother. And thankful, above all, for the gift of life that continues to bless us every single day.

    Serving Well

    Posted in Church Chat, Church Consulting, Church Revitalization, Discipleship, Leadership, Life Happens, Ministry, Uncategorized, WorshipLeave a comment

    What does it mean to serve well? If you work at the Kentucky Baptist Convention, your mind might go to our core values—being highly responsive, cultivating an entrepreneurial spirit, committing ourselves as lifelong learners, staying people-focused, and stewarding well. Those values matter. They shape how we work and why we work. But that’s not really the question I want to ask.

    We know what it means to serve well. The deeper question is this: What does it mean to be well while you are serving well? What does wellness look like for a Christian? And what does wellness look like for someone who gives their life to ministry and service?

    To answer that, I want to turn briefly to the shortest book in the New Testament—just 219 words in the original Greek. In 3 John, the Apostle John writes to a man named Gaius, a common name in the first century, but clearly someone John knew and loved deeply.

    “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” 3 John 2 (ESV)

    John prays for Gaius to be well. Wouldn’t you love to know that the beloved apostle was praying for you? And not just praying for your ministry or your faithfulness—but praying for your personal wellness?

    In that short verse, John gives us a glimpse of three kinds of wellness that matter for those who want to serve well for the long haul.

    3 Types of Wellness

    1. Overall Wellness

    John begins broadly: “I pray that all may go well with you.” Many translations use the word prosper. The New King James Version says, “I pray that you may prosper in all things.” That is a beautiful prayer.

    John isn’t talking about winning the lottery. He’s talking about life—marriage, family, work, friendships, relationships, and the everyday matters that make up our lives. He is praying that life, as a whole, would be marked by God’s gracious care.

    Serving well does not require neglecting the rest of life. In fact, healthy service grows out of a life that is held together by God’s grace.

    2. Physical and Emotional Wellness

    John continues, “that you may be in good health.” When we hear those words, we naturally think of physical health—and rightly so. Anyone who has faced health struggles knows how deeply they affect every other part of life. We want those we love to be healthy.

    But there is also an emotional weight that comes with service and ministry. Those who serve often go and go and go. We give and give and give. We listen and listen and listen. We carry stories, burdens, and heartbreaks that we cannot fix. Over time, that can become heavy.

    And all of this happens while we are navigating our own lives in a fallen world. This is earth, not heaven. Emotional wellness matters. Ignoring it doesn’t make us stronger—it simply makes the load heavier.

    3. Spiritual Wellness

    Finally, John adds, “as it goes well with your soul.” The wording suggests that Gaius was doing well spiritually. His walk with the Lord was steady. His soul was healthy.

    That matters more than anything else. Physical strength and professional effectiveness cannot substitute for a soul that is being nurtured by Christ. When the soul is neglected, everything else eventually suffers.

    A Personal Word

    Last fall and winter, I struggled. At the time, I couldn’t fully explain what was happening, but the struggle showed up physically—anxiety, fatigue, shortness of breath, an elevated heart rate. A visit to the cardiologist and a treadmill test ruled out heart trouble, but the symptoms were real.

    Eventually, I recognized several underlying causes. I was grieving my father’s death. His estate was still unsettled. My brother was fighting cancer. And after more than forty years in ministry, I felt the accumulated weight of service.

    Most people had no idea I was struggling. As I write this, I don’t know where you are. You may be doing well, or you may be carrying more than you let on. I suspect I’m not the only one who has ever struggled while trying to serve faithfully.

    So I leave you with the same prayer John offered long ago:

    “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”

    May we serve well—and by God’s grace, may we be well as we serve.