I love to please people! All my life, I have wanted people to like me, affirm me, and generally think that I’m wonderful. As I have matured as a leader and as a pastor, I’ve discovered that I have to sometimes set those desires aside and do the right thing regardless of what other’s think. My goal MUST NOT be to simply “please people” — my goal must be to help people and please God. Sometimes I have to set boundaries and tell people “no” in order to help them. Other times I have to model a new approach and lead people to walk in a more effective, efficient manner.
Sometimes I have to set boundaries and tell people “no” in order to help them.
Everyone seems to have their idea of what their pastor should do and how he should use his time. Hardly a week goes by, that someone does not pull them aside and share with them their opinion of what their life’s assignment should be. Most of the time, the assignment is fair and reasonable, but it almost always matches their own personal preferences and desires instead of the desires of the Lord or their pastor. As the senior pastor, he MUST consider the big picture and keep the entire church body in mind as he leads. If he simply jumps from personal assignment to personal assignment, he will not lead with vision and God-given direction.
Here are the 5 promises I made to a church during my first sermon as their senior pastor:
- I promise to love God. In order to fulfill this promise, I must be disciplined in my private time with the Lord. The man who never spends time with God in private is no good in public.
- I promise to love my family. I love to work hard and I love being a pastor (most the time). Because of this, I have to guard against neglecting my family. I have asked other staff members to tell me if they see this in my life and I have pledged to tell them if I see it in their lives.
- I promise to love you. I love our church and all our people. I look forward to serving our Lord together for many years to come. Keep in mind that all of our pastors love God and love our people as well.
- I promise to love the unchurched. I want to see people come to Christ. I need to spend more time around lost people. I need to get out of the office more and into the community.
- I promise to preach the Bible. I have tried my best to focus on God’s Word in my sermons and in my teaching. It takes time to prepare true, Biblical sermons, but it is worth all the hard work and extra effort. Currently, I set aside Tuesday and Wednesday as my main study days. Occasionally, I will schedule an appointment or meeting on those days, but I try to devote those days to preparation for preaching and teaching the Bible.
I also went on to say the following to them:
As we move forward, I pledge to always be open to suggestions and ideas. My default of wanting to please people will always be there, I’m sure. But, I promise when I’m faced with the choice of “simply pleasing someone” or “providing Godly leadership,” I will strive to choose providing Godly leadership every time.
If you are a pastor, hang in there! God is good and worthy of our service. If you are a church member, pray for your pastor. Encourage him. Be a blessing and serve God faithfully!
I have served “as” a deacon and I have served “with” deacons. As a pastor I appreciated the office of deacon and the men who served in that role. Here are a few of the reasons I really like deacons:
6 Reasons I Like Deacons
1. Deacons are fellow servants. As a pastor, I was a servant of the Lord and a servant of the church. According to Acts 6, my main role as a pastor was to serve the church through preaching/teaching and prayer. Likewise, deacons are servants of the Lord and servants of the church.
2. Deacons are fellow men. I know there are exceptions where women serve as deacons, but in all the churches where I served as pastor, the deacons were all men. Men need to be around other men. We need the accountability and the example. Serving with men of God who were deacons helped to keep me on track in my spiritual walk and discipleship path. As Scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17, ESV).
Men need to be around other men.
3. Deacons are human. Even though pastors hold an important office and are held to high standards according to 1 Timothy 3, they are not perfect. They make mistakes just like everyone else. Deacons are held to the same high standards and qualifications as pastors, but they are human also.
4. Deacons are leaders. Most churches are desperate for leadership–especially servant leadership. Deacons, along with pastors, are uniquely positioned to provide much-needed servant leadership modeled after Jesus’ example in John 13.
5. Deacons are partners. Jim Henry, longtime pastor of FBC Orlando, referred to his deacons as “partners in ministry.” That is the perfect title for a deacon. No pastor or staff can carry out all the ministry needed in a local church. We need to partner together to serve God’s church.
…deacons are partners in ministry.
6. Deacons are friends. Some of my closest friends have been deacons with whom I have been privileged to serve.
When the pandemic began, most of us assumed that our churches would just bounce back to “normal” shortly after the Covid-19 restrictions lifted. Much like turning our internet modem off and then back on when we experience connection issues, we thought the church would simply “reboot.” But, a reboot has not happened and it may never happen.
LifeWay Research indicates that only 50-70% of pre-Covid attendees had returned to in-person church activities by August, 2021. According to researcher, Scott McConnell, “worship attendance is improving, but there is still a large gap between today’s in-person attendance and pre-COVID levels.” The percentage is higher when online participation is included, but those numbers are difficult to track. As we move forward, we will not be able to simply reboot; we will have to rebuild!
We will not be able to simply reboot; we will have to rebuild!
That’s easy to recognize, but how do we have a “rebuild” mindset? What does that even mean? Here are seven key elements of rebuilding.
7 Keys to Rebuild the Church
- Outreach. We must continue to reach out to those who have never attended our church. Many communities are growing and new prospects are moving in regularly. Even in non-growing communities, there are people who need Christ. Some of them are experiencing grief related to the pandemic and are more spiritually open than ever.
- In-reach. Don’t give up on members and former attendees who haven’t returned to church. Without being pushy or assigning blame, reach out to them. Help them take small steps back to church. Maintain safety measures for those who are at risk and/or have concerns related to their health.
- Ministry. Provide pastoral ministry to all church members. That’s fairly easy for those in attendance, but challenging for those who have not returned. If the church is small, you can print off the membership role and call a few members each day to check on them. When you call, ask if they have needs and prayer concerns. Write down what they share and pray for them over the phone. When you call them in future, check your notes and ask them about the things they shared on the last call. If the church is larger, you can share this ministry with the deacons, Sunday School teachers, or form a special phone team. A safe, personal touch matters more than ever!
- Assimilation. Be prepared when new people attend and others return. In addition to all the normal assimilation basics, give priority to cleanliness and safety. We will never just “go back to normal” after living through a pandemic. Masks, hand sanitizer, bleach, and personal space changes are here to stay.
- Creativity. Don’t pretend the pandemic is over. The truth is, long after it is over, it will not be “over.” Be creative in providing options in worship and other church ministries. Make sure that those who are extra cautious are made to feel welcome and treated with respect.
- Technology. Technology is not the Devil! We’ve learned so much about technology during the pandemic, and reached new people as a result. We should continue to improve and expand our use of technology, even as our in-person attendance increases.
- Focus. Specifically, focus on Jesus! People need Jesus! Preach Jesus! Sing about Jesus! Pray in Jesus’ name! Walk with Jesus! Love Jesus! Model Jesus! People need Jesus!
“…focus on Jesus! Preach Jesus! Sing about Jesus! Pray in Jesus’ name!…People need Jesus!”
Bonus Tip: Don’t give up!
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:9-10, ESV).
In their book Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling discuss some of the reasons that it may be wise to involve others during a church conflict. We should never be ashamed to ask for help from an outside person or a third party.
5 Reasons to Seek Help with Conflict
1. We have blind spots. We all have blind spots during conflict, but others can frequently see what we cannot see because they are not emotionally invested. The outside person can hear several perspectives and are not committed towards one perspective being right.
2. We forget the truth. When our hearts are weighed down with crushing burdens, it can be hard to remember the truth of the situation and to focus on the things that are lovely, excellent, admirable, or praiseworthy (see Phil. 4:8).
3. Our fear is powerful. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions that we face. When we’re afraid that we may be losing control of a situation or about to lose something of great value to us, our judgment can become skewed.
4. Our tempers can be held in-check. The presence of an impartial third party can help hold tempers under control and help conflicted people agree on fundamental rules of fairness.
5. We need encouragement. A neutral third party can encourage us when all seems hopeless and lost. He or she can remind us of the sure foundation and hope that we have in Christ.
How can we forgive people we hate? How can we show grace to those we can’t stomach? The honest truth is that we can’t! In our own strength, we are unable to forgive those who have hurt us deeply, but with God’s help, it is possible.
4 Steps to Forgiving Those I Hate
1. Turn our hurts over to God. We should remind ourselves that nothing happens that God does not allow. As a result we should acknowledge our hurts and ask God to help us with them. He may choose to teach us through them and shape us into the person He wants us to be. God never wastes a hurt!
God never wastes a hurt!
2. Ask God to transform our hate to love. In time, God will change our hearts to match His heart if we allow Him to do so. We should pray and ask God to start the process of healing and forgiveness in our hearts.
3. Read what God’s Word says about forgiveness. The Bible is replete with verses on this topic. Reading what God says is a major part of how He moves us towards a heart of forgiveness. Here are a couple of passages on the topic:
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
“He said to them, ‘When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.'” Luke 11:2-4 (NIV)
4. Remember that we sinned against God. God forgave us when we didn’t deserve it, so we should forgive others when they don’t deserve it. We are never more like God than when we grant forgiveness to undeserving people.
Don’t spend the rest of your life without rest in your life!
If you’re struggling with hard feelings toward someone . . . if you’re mad, hurt, bitter, or all the above rolled into one, then let it go! Forgive! Do it for their sake! Do it for your sake! Do it for the Lord! Don’t spend the rest of your life without rest in your life. Unforgiveness can slow down or even sidetrack your spiritual growth.