Category: Church Chat

5 Reasons to Seek Help with Conflict

Posted in Church Chat, Church Consulting, Conflict, Deacon, Leadership, Life Happens, MinistryLeave a comment

In their helpful book Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling remind us that there are times when it is wise to involve others in the midst of church conflict. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of humility and wisdom. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

Here are five reasons why inviting an outside, godly helper can bring clarity and healing when conflict arises.

1. We Have Blind Spots. Conflict clouds our vision. Because we are emotionally invested, we often cannot see clearly. Others, especially those who are impartial, can discern perspectives we may miss. Scripture reminds us, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart” (Proverbs 21:2). A wise and godly third party can help us see what God sees more clearly.

2. We Forget the Truth. When our hearts are weighed down by burdens, it is easy to lose sight of God’s truth. A faithful helper can gently turn our eyes back to what is good and right. The apostle Paul exhorts us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). God often uses the encouragement of others to lift our thoughts back to His promises.

3. Our Fear Is Powerful. Fear can quickly take control when we feel we are losing influence, position, or something we treasure deeply. Fear distorts judgment and feeds division. Yet God’s Word speaks directly to our fear: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). A wise third party can help calm our fears and point us back to faith in God’s sovereignty.

4. Our Tempers Need Restraint. Anger is a dangerous spark in any conflict. The presence of a neutral mediator can help keep emotions in check and set boundaries for respectful conversation. James writes, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). Godly counsel provides space for anger to cool and for grace to work.

5. We Need Encouragement. Conflict often leaves us weary, discouraged, and tempted to lose hope. A trusted encourager can remind us that our hope is not in winning an argument but in Christ Himself. “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 42:11). Outside help can point us back to the unshakable foundation we have in Jesus.

Closing Thought: Conflict is hard, but it can also be an invitation from the Lord to grow in grace. When we seek wise help, we are walking in humility and trusting God to bring peace where strife once ruled. Remember, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Prayer: Lord, when conflict comes, remind us that our hope is in You. Give us humility to seek help, courage to face our fears, and faith to trust Your Word. Make us instruments of Your peace, so that Christ may be glorified in His church. Amen.

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Making Good Decisions

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Decisions

It’s sobering to consider, but decisions we make today can have an effect on the rest of our lives. Current decisions can also affect our churches and ministries for years to come. I find some excellent decision-making guidance in Genesis 25 from the story of Jacob and Esau. Esau found himself in a position of extreme hunger from a hunting trip. In his “weakened” state, he made a quick, foolish decision, that cost him and his descendants his birthright.

4 keys to making good decisions:

  1. Make slow decisions. Esau got in a hurry and made a quick decision. Surely he knew that his birthright was worth far more than a bowl of soup, but he made an emotional, weakened decision. One of the devil’s sneakiest tricks is to get us to make quick, snap decisions. Many times we regret these types of decisions for years to come.
  2. Make joint decisions. Esau should have consulted someone. Anyone! Anyone except his scheming brother Jacob. Anyone who truly cared about him would have told him not to trade away his birthright while they handed him a Snickers bar. We should do our best to never make decisions alone.
  3. Make rationale decisions. We can’t make good decisions if we don’t honestly consider the facts. Esau said that he was about to die from hunger which was certainly not the case. He made a bad decision because the truth became blurry to him. The truth is often blurry these days, but we must remember that facts are our friends when it comes to making decisions.
  4. Make eternity-minded decisions. We should always keep in mind that what we do for Christ is really what will stand throughout eternity. With that in mind, we should decide to use our time, talents, and treasures in eternity-minded ways, especially during these challenging days.

Prayer: “Lord, help us to be wise when it comes to making decisions. Help us to make decisions carefully, but with courage. Help us to be willing to lead, but humble in seeking counsel. Help us to clearly see the truth and to keep eternity in view as we live our lives! May Your Name be exalted and may souls be saved as a result of the decisions that we make. Amen.”

Is It a Sin to Be Rich?

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Rich

Is it a sin to be rich? Although most of us do not consider ourselves “rich,” the truth is, we are rich in every sense of the word. Americans who are poverty-level are rich compared to most of the world. One-fifth of the world’s population lives on less than $1 a day. Yes, we’re rich! So that leads to the question, is it a sin to be rich? 1 Timothy 6:6-10 provides insight on this important topic.

6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:6-10 (NKJV)

In this passage, Paul gives us several reminders about money….

Money Reminders

  • God owns everything. The reason we bring nothing into the world and take nothing out of the world is because it all belongs to God in the first place. We’re not owners; we’re managers. We manage what God gives us to manage.
  • It’s our attitude that counts. When it comes to money, attitude is everything. Paul reminds us that godliness should be the thing we most want to accomplish. If we are godly, we will be content. We cannot be godly if we do not have an attitude of contentment that is based on our knowledge that God owns everything and that He will meet our needs.
  • We can’t take it with us. Paul tells us that we take nothing out of this world. Although we can’t take it with us, Jesus taught that we can send “treasures” on ahead as we serve God faithfully (Matthew 6:19-24).
  • Money can cause us to fall away. We must always be on guard against the dangers of money. In 1 Timothy 6:9-10, Paul says we can be lured by the temptation of wanting to be rich. He calls it a trap, and describes it as foolish and harmful. He says that it leads to ruin and destruction.

No, it IS NOT a sin to be rich, but it is a PITY to be confused about what’s really important in life. It IS NOT a sin to be rich, but it is sad beyond words when a person does not understand the “true riches” that come from a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Being A Good Example

Posted in Church Chat, Deacon, Discipleship, Leadership, Life Happens, Ministry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’ve always wanted to be a good example, but that multiplied exponentially when I became a grandfather. The truth is, one of the greatest gifts we can give our family, co-workers, and other believers is the example of a faithful life. Paul reminded young Timothy of this truth when he wrote:

“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings… yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Timothy 3:10–12, ESV)

Paul wasn’t simply telling Timothy what to believe—he was showing him how to live. Timothy had seen Paul’s doctrine, his daily conduct, his endurance through hardship, and his unshakable faith. That’s the pattern for us today. If we want to influence others for Christ, we must be willing to let our lives speak as loudly as our words.

4 Ways to Be A Good Example

1. A Good Example Teaches Truth. Paul began with teaching. Right doctrine matters. People are being pulled in every direction by voices that deceive, but a faithful believer points to Scripture as the unchanging standard. To be a good example, you don’t need to know everything—but you must cling to the truth you do know, and pass it on with humility and confidence.

2. A Good Example Lives What They Teach. Doctrine without conduct is hypocrisy. Paul could say, “You’ve seen my teaching and my conduct.” The world may ignore our sermons, but it notices how we treat our spouse, how we handle money, how we respond when things don’t go our way. Every believer’s life is a message. The question is: is it pointing people toward Christ or away from Him?

3. A Good Example Endures with Faith and Patience. Paul’s life was marked by hardship—persecution, rejection, and even violence. Yet he remained steadfast. That kind of endurance only comes from faith. When we continue to love, serve, and trust God in the face of trials, people see that Jesus is real in us.

4. A Good Example Accepts That Persecution Will Come. Paul was clear: “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” The faithful life won’t always be easy or applauded. But our response in those moments—our patience, love, and steadfastness—shines the brightest witness. A Christian who suffers with grace proclaims the gospel more loudly than a thousand words ever could.

Summary: Being a good example is not about perfection—it’s about faithfulness. It means teaching truth, living consistently, enduring trials, and trusting God when the road is hard. When we do, others will see Jesus in us, and our lives will echo Paul’s words: “From them all the Lord rescued me.”

Closing Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for the faithful examples of Paul, Timothy, and so many others who have gone before us. Help me to live in such a way that my teaching and my conduct match, that my faith is steady, and that my love is sincere. When trials come, give me the patience and steadfastness I need to honor Christ. May my life point others to Jesus, not to myself. Keep me faithful, even when the road is hard, and remind me that You are always with me and will rescue me in the end. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Where Do I Fit in My Church?

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Becoming part of a church family is one of the greatest blessings of following Jesus. Yet for new believers, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Where do I belong? How can I serve? What role does God want me to play?

Take heart—God’s Word assures us that He has a purpose for each one of us in His church. “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:27). Here are five biblical truths to help you prayerfully find your place in His family.

1. Be Comfortable in Who You Are. God created you uniquely and purposefully. Psalm 139:14 reminds us, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” You don’t need to imitate others to fit in—you simply need to rest in who you are in Christ. When you walk confidently in your identity as God’s child, you’ll naturally connect with your church family.

2. Discover Your God-Given Gifts and Talents. The Holy Spirit equips every believer with gifts to build up the church. Romans 12:6 says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Ask the Lord to reveal your gifts and consider how your natural talents may be used for His glory. Whether it’s serving, teaching, encouraging, or showing mercy, your gifts have a place in His plan.

3. Learn from Others Around You. Proverbs 15:22 teaches, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Seek guidance from pastors, mentors, and trusted believers in your church. They may see strengths and opportunities you’ve overlooked. God often uses the wisdom of others to direct us to the right place of service.

4. Stay Open to Growth and Change. Your place in the church may shift over time as God shapes you. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Be willing to try new areas of ministry and allow God to stretch you. You may begin in one role and later discover an even deeper passion in another.

5. Pay Attention to Where God is Working. Jesus said, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17). Look around your church. Where is God moving? Where are the needs? Often, your place is found at the intersection of God’s work, your gifts, and the needs of others. Pray for eyes to see and a heart ready to serve.

Closing Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for placing me in Your family, the church. Help me to rest in who You made me to be. Reveal the gifts You’ve given me and show me where to use them for Your glory. Surround me with wise counsel, keep my heart open to new opportunities, and give me eyes to see where You are working. May my life bless others and bring honor to Christ, in whose name I pray. Amen.