Category: Deacon

5 Reasons to Seek Help with Conflict

Posted in Church Chat, Church Consulting, Conflict, Deacon, Leadership, Life Happens, MinistryLeave a comment

In their helpful book Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling remind us that there are times when it is wise to involve others in the midst of church conflict. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of humility and wisdom. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

Here are five reasons why inviting an outside, godly helper can bring clarity and healing when conflict arises.

1. We Have Blind Spots. Conflict clouds our vision. Because we are emotionally invested, we often cannot see clearly. Others, especially those who are impartial, can discern perspectives we may miss. Scripture reminds us, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart” (Proverbs 21:2). A wise and godly third party can help us see what God sees more clearly.

2. We Forget the Truth. When our hearts are weighed down by burdens, it is easy to lose sight of God’s truth. A faithful helper can gently turn our eyes back to what is good and right. The apostle Paul exhorts us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). God often uses the encouragement of others to lift our thoughts back to His promises.

3. Our Fear Is Powerful. Fear can quickly take control when we feel we are losing influence, position, or something we treasure deeply. Fear distorts judgment and feeds division. Yet God’s Word speaks directly to our fear: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). A wise third party can help calm our fears and point us back to faith in God’s sovereignty.

4. Our Tempers Need Restraint. Anger is a dangerous spark in any conflict. The presence of a neutral mediator can help keep emotions in check and set boundaries for respectful conversation. James writes, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). Godly counsel provides space for anger to cool and for grace to work.

5. We Need Encouragement. Conflict often leaves us weary, discouraged, and tempted to lose hope. A trusted encourager can remind us that our hope is not in winning an argument but in Christ Himself. “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 42:11). Outside help can point us back to the unshakable foundation we have in Jesus.

Closing Thought: Conflict is hard, but it can also be an invitation from the Lord to grow in grace. When we seek wise help, we are walking in humility and trusting God to bring peace where strife once ruled. Remember, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Prayer: Lord, when conflict comes, remind us that our hope is in You. Give us humility to seek help, courage to face our fears, and faith to trust Your Word. Make us instruments of Your peace, so that Christ may be glorified in His church. Amen.

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Being A Good Example

Posted in Church Chat, Deacon, Discipleship, Leadership, Life Happens, Ministry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’ve always wanted to be a good example, but that multiplied exponentially when I became a grandfather. The truth is, one of the greatest gifts we can give our family, co-workers, and other believers is the example of a faithful life. Paul reminded young Timothy of this truth when he wrote:

“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings… yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Timothy 3:10–12, ESV)

Paul wasn’t simply telling Timothy what to believe—he was showing him how to live. Timothy had seen Paul’s doctrine, his daily conduct, his endurance through hardship, and his unshakable faith. That’s the pattern for us today. If we want to influence others for Christ, we must be willing to let our lives speak as loudly as our words.

4 Ways to Be A Good Example

1. A Good Example Teaches Truth. Paul began with teaching. Right doctrine matters. People are being pulled in every direction by voices that deceive, but a faithful believer points to Scripture as the unchanging standard. To be a good example, you don’t need to know everything—but you must cling to the truth you do know, and pass it on with humility and confidence.

2. A Good Example Lives What They Teach. Doctrine without conduct is hypocrisy. Paul could say, “You’ve seen my teaching and my conduct.” The world may ignore our sermons, but it notices how we treat our spouse, how we handle money, how we respond when things don’t go our way. Every believer’s life is a message. The question is: is it pointing people toward Christ or away from Him?

3. A Good Example Endures with Faith and Patience. Paul’s life was marked by hardship—persecution, rejection, and even violence. Yet he remained steadfast. That kind of endurance only comes from faith. When we continue to love, serve, and trust God in the face of trials, people see that Jesus is real in us.

4. A Good Example Accepts That Persecution Will Come. Paul was clear: “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” The faithful life won’t always be easy or applauded. But our response in those moments—our patience, love, and steadfastness—shines the brightest witness. A Christian who suffers with grace proclaims the gospel more loudly than a thousand words ever could.

Summary: Being a good example is not about perfection—it’s about faithfulness. It means teaching truth, living consistently, enduring trials, and trusting God when the road is hard. When we do, others will see Jesus in us, and our lives will echo Paul’s words: “From them all the Lord rescued me.”

Closing Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for the faithful examples of Paul, Timothy, and so many others who have gone before us. Help me to live in such a way that my teaching and my conduct match, that my faith is steady, and that my love is sincere. When trials come, give me the patience and steadfastness I need to honor Christ. May my life point others to Jesus, not to myself. Keep me faithful, even when the road is hard, and remind me that You are always with me and will rescue me in the end. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Is Your Church Safe & Secure?

Posted in Church Consulting, Deacon, Leadership, Security, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Every church MUST think about church security in today’s world! Every church should have a comprehensive Church Security Plan and a Church Security Team in place! BUT, where do you begin and who can help?

We have six Kentucky Baptist Convention Regional Consultants prepared to make a presentation to your church or a group of leaders that will raise awareness for the need of a good security plan as well as cover some of the basics. They can provide first steps and help a church take next steps.

We created a Church Security page on our website with resources available for churches as well as links to several Church Security training videos filmed at one of our KBC Church Security Conferences:

For additional assistance please contact a KBC Regional Consultant directly or contact me at the Kentucky Baptist Convention.

4 Steps to Forgiving Those I Hate

Posted in Church Chat, Deacon, Discipleship, Leadership, Life Happens, Ministry, Preaching, Worship2 Comments

How can we forgive people we hate? How can we show grace to those we can’t stomach? The honest truth is that we can’t! In our own strength, we are unable to forgive those who have hurt us deeply, but with God’s help, it is possible.

4 Steps to Forgiving Those I Hate

1. Turn our hurts over to God. We should remind ourselves that nothing happens that God does not allow. As a result we should acknowledge our hurts and ask God to help us with them. He may choose to teach us through them and shape us into the person He wants us to be. God never wastes a hurt!

God never wastes a hurt!

2. Ask God to transform our hate to love. In time, God will change our hearts to match His heart if we allow Him to do so. We should pray and ask God to start the process of healing and forgiveness in our hearts.

3. Read what God’s Word says about forgiveness. The Bible is replete with verses on this topic. Reading what God says is a major part of how He moves us towards a heart of forgiveness. Here are a couple of passages on the topic:

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV) 

“He said to them, ‘When you pray, say:  Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.'”  Luke 11:2-4 (NIV) 

4. Remember that we sinned against God. God forgave us when we didn’t deserve it, so we should forgive others when they don’t deserve it. We are never more like God than when we grant forgiveness to undeserving people.

Don’t spend the rest of your life without rest in your life!

If you’re struggling with hard feelings toward someone . . . if you’re mad, hurt, bitter, or all the above rolled into one, then let it go! Forgive! Do it for their sake! Do it for your sake! Do it for the Lord! Don’t spend the rest of your life without rest in your life. Unforgiveness can slow down or even sidetrack your spiritual growth.

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6 Reasons I Like Deacons

Posted in Church Chat, Church Consulting, Church Revitalization, Deacon, Leadership, Uncategorized, WorshipLeave a comment

I have served “as” a deacon and I have served “with” deacons. As a pastor I appreciated the office of deacon and the men who served in that role. Here are a few of the reasons I really like deacons:

6 Reasons I Like Deacons

1. Deacons are fellow servants. As a pastor, I was a servant of the Lord and a servant of the church. According to Acts 6, my main role as a pastor was to serve the church through preaching/teaching and prayer. Likewise, deacons are servants of the Lord and servants of the church.

2. Deacons are fellow men. I know there are exceptions where women serve as deacons, but in all the churches where I served as pastor, the deacons were all men. Men need to be around other men. We need the accountability and the example. Serving with men of God who were deacons helped to keep me on track in my spiritual walk and discipleship path. As Scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17, ESV).

Men need to be around other men.

3. Deacons are human. Even though pastors hold an important office and are held to high standards according to 1 Timothy 3, they are not perfect. They make mistakes just like everyone else. Deacons are held to the same high standards and qualifications as pastors, but they are human also.

4. Deacons are leaders. Most churches are desperate for leadership–especially servant leadership. Deacons, along with pastors, are uniquely positioned to provide much-needed servant leadership modeled after Jesus’ example in John 13.

5. Deacons are partners. Jim Henry, longtime pastor of FBC Orlando, referred to his deacons as “partners in ministry.” That is the perfect title for a deacon. No pastor or staff can carry out all the ministry needed in a local church. We need to partner together to serve God’s church.

…deacons are partners in ministry.

6. Deacons are friends. Some of my closest friends have been deacons with whom I have been privileged to serve.

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