5 Reasons to Seek Help with Conflict

In their helpful book Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling remind us that there are times when it is wise to involve others in the midst of church conflict. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of humility and wisdom. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

Here are five reasons why inviting an outside, godly helper can bring clarity and healing when conflict arises.

1. We Have Blind Spots. Conflict clouds our vision. Because we are emotionally invested, we often cannot see clearly. Others, especially those who are impartial, can discern perspectives we may miss. Scripture reminds us, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart” (Proverbs 21:2). A wise and godly third party can help us see what God sees more clearly.

2. We Forget the Truth. When our hearts are weighed down by burdens, it is easy to lose sight of God’s truth. A faithful helper can gently turn our eyes back to what is good and right. The apostle Paul exhorts us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). God often uses the encouragement of others to lift our thoughts back to His promises.

3. Our Fear Is Powerful. Fear can quickly take control when we feel we are losing influence, position, or something we treasure deeply. Fear distorts judgment and feeds division. Yet God’s Word speaks directly to our fear: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). A wise third party can help calm our fears and point us back to faith in God’s sovereignty.

4. Our Tempers Need Restraint. Anger is a dangerous spark in any conflict. The presence of a neutral mediator can help keep emotions in check and set boundaries for respectful conversation. James writes, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). Godly counsel provides space for anger to cool and for grace to work.

5. We Need Encouragement. Conflict often leaves us weary, discouraged, and tempted to lose hope. A trusted encourager can remind us that our hope is not in winning an argument but in Christ Himself. “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 42:11). Outside help can point us back to the unshakable foundation we have in Jesus.

Closing Thought: Conflict is hard, but it can also be an invitation from the Lord to grow in grace. When we seek wise help, we are walking in humility and trusting God to bring peace where strife once ruled. Remember, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Prayer: Lord, when conflict comes, remind us that our hope is in You. Give us humility to seek help, courage to face our fears, and faith to trust Your Word. Make us instruments of Your peace, so that Christ may be glorified in His church. Amen.

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8 Reasons to Hire An Interim Pastor

When a pastor leaves, the church enters a tender and often uncertain season. Even if the pastor’s departure was expected—or even welcomed—it still creates disruption. The transition between pastors is a vulnerable time, and how a church navigates it will often shape the future health of the congregation. One of the wisest steps a church can take is to hire an interim pastor. Here’s why:

1. The church needs consistency. Rotating guest preachers may seem like a solution, but it creates a revolving door in the pulpit. Without a steady voice, the church often experiences tension, confusion, and even division. An interim pastor provides stability and consistency week after week.

2. You safeguard doctrine. It’s far easier to vet and trust one qualified interim pastor than a new guest speaker every Sunday. A parade of different preachers—especially those without theological training—opens the door to doctrinal drift. An interim helps protect the pulpit and guard the truth.

3. The church needs space to grieve. When a beloved pastor leaves, there’s loss—whether people realize it or not. That loss must be acknowledged. An interim pastor provides the space and guidance needed for the church to process its grief, heal, and be ready to fully embrace its next shepherd.

4. A leadership void must be filled. The departure of a pastor leaves a vacuum. If it isn’t filled by a qualified leader, one of two things happens: either the church stalls without direction, or members step into roles they were never meant to hold—and may not want to give up once the new pastor arrives. An interim pastor prevents both pitfalls.

5. The Search Team needs breathing room. A pastor search committee carries a weighty responsibility. Without an interim, they feel pressure to rush the process. A wise interim pastor shoulders part of that burden, allowing the search team to move prayerfully and carefully instead of hastily.

6. Fresh eyes bring clarity. An interim pastor comes without preconceived notions. He notices things insiders may overlook—facility issues, worship dynamics, staffing challenges, or ministry gaps. His perspective can spark helpful conversations and positive change.

7. New ideas can bring momentum. Most interim pastors have years of ministry experience. They’ve seen what works—and what doesn’t—in a variety of contexts. Their ideas can inject fresh energy and keep the church moving forward instead of stagnating during the transition.

8. The staff needs pastoral guidance. Even the most capable church staff feels unsettled when the lead pastor’s chair sits empty. An interim pastor provides the leadership, accountability, and encouragement they need so they can continue to serve well until the new pastor arrives.

Final Thought. An interim pastor isn’t just a “placeholder.” He’s a bridge—helping the church move from one season to the next with health, stability, and hope. Churches that skip this step often regret it. Churches that embrace it often find themselves stronger, healthier, and more unified when their new pastor finally steps into the pulpit.

For more information or assistance in this area, please contact me at steve.rice@kybaptist.org or at 502-489-3434.

Is Your Church Safe & Secure?

Every church MUST think about church security in today’s world! Every church should have a comprehensive Church Security Plan and a Church Security Team in place! BUT, where do you begin and who can help?

We have six Kentucky Baptist Convention Regional Consultants prepared to make a presentation to your church or a group of leaders that will raise awareness for the need of a good security plan as well as cover some of the basics. They can provide first steps and help a church take next steps.

We created a Church Security page on our website with resources available for churches as well as links to several Church Security training videos filmed at one of our KBC Church Security Conferences:

For additional assistance please contact a KBC Regional Consultant directly or contact me at the Kentucky Baptist Convention.

6 Reasons I Like Deacons

I have served “as” a deacon and I have served “with” deacons. As a pastor I appreciated the office of deacon and the men who served in that role. Here are a few of the reasons I really like deacons:

6 Reasons I Like Deacons

1. Deacons are fellow servants. As a pastor, I was a servant of the Lord and a servant of the church. According to Acts 6, my main role as a pastor was to serve the church through preaching/teaching and prayer. Likewise, deacons are servants of the Lord and servants of the church.

2. Deacons are fellow men. I know there are exceptions where women serve as deacons, but in all the churches where I served as pastor, the deacons were all men. Men need to be around other men. We need the accountability and the example. Serving with men of God who were deacons helped to keep me on track in my spiritual walk and discipleship path. As Scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17, ESV).

Men need to be around other men.

3. Deacons are human. Even though pastors hold an important office and are held to high standards according to 1 Timothy 3, they are not perfect. They make mistakes just like everyone else. Deacons are held to the same high standards and qualifications as pastors, but they are human also.

4. Deacons are leaders. Most churches are desperate for leadership–especially servant leadership. Deacons, along with pastors, are uniquely positioned to provide much-needed servant leadership modeled after Jesus’ example in John 13.

5. Deacons are partners. Jim Henry, longtime pastor of FBC Orlando, referred to his deacons as “partners in ministry.” That is the perfect title for a deacon. No pastor or staff can carry out all the ministry needed in a local church. We need to partner together to serve God’s church.

…deacons are partners in ministry.

6. Deacons are friends. Some of my closest friends have been deacons with whom I have been privileged to serve.

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5 Things I Hated Doing as a Pastor

In similar posts I wrote about 6 Things I Hated Hearing as a Pastor followed by 7 Things I Loved Hearing as a Pastor. In today’s post I want to explore 5 Things I Hated DOING as a Pastor. Keep in mind that I loved being a pastor and I loved most the tasks that came along with the position, but I didn’t love everything.

5 Things I Hated Doing as a Pastor

1. Preaching on difficult topics. I preached on marriage, divorce, homosexuality, fornication, adultery, abortion, tithing, racism, prejudice, laziness, gossip, and numerous other difficult subjects, but I didn’t love doing it. As a pastor, I preferred to preach about Jesus and the encouraging passages that abound, but I knew that I was accountable to God to preach the whole Bible even when the topics were not popular or culturally acceptable.

…even when the topics were not popular or culturally acceptable.”

2. Visiting new parents in the hospital. I didn’t really hate visiting new parents, but it always felt a little awkward. I felt better visiting when the mother and the father were both present or when my wife could join me. As their pastor, I wanted to let them know that we celebrated with them on the birth of their child, but at the same time, I wanted to respect their need for privacy. As a man, I was certain that I didn’t understand everything that the new mother was going through physically and emotionally, so I wanted to give her space for rest and healing.

3. Addressing church conflict. When I faced conflict during my early years of ministry I simply prayed and hoped that it would go away. As the pastor, I began to realize that I had to lean into conflict and work towards reconciliation, but it was something that I always dreaded.

…I began to realize that I had to lean into conflict…”

4. Asking for help. In the perfect church world, all the church members would jump in and volunteer when needed. Since that rarely happened, I often had to personally ask people for help.

5. Administering church discipline. The Bible clearly teaches that there are times when church discipline is required. The purpose of discipline is to help the offender discover his sin and his need for repentance. Even when church discipline was appropriate and best, it was always very difficult.

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