5 Reasons to Seek Help with Conflict

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In their helpful book Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling remind us that there are times when it is wise to involve others in the midst of church conflict. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of humility and wisdom. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

Here are five reasons why inviting an outside, godly helper can bring clarity and healing when conflict arises.

1. We Have Blind Spots. Conflict clouds our vision. Because we are emotionally invested, we often cannot see clearly. Others, especially those who are impartial, can discern perspectives we may miss. Scripture reminds us, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart” (Proverbs 21:2). A wise and godly third party can help us see what God sees more clearly.

2. We Forget the Truth. When our hearts are weighed down by burdens, it is easy to lose sight of God’s truth. A faithful helper can gently turn our eyes back to what is good and right. The apostle Paul exhorts us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). God often uses the encouragement of others to lift our thoughts back to His promises.

3. Our Fear Is Powerful. Fear can quickly take control when we feel we are losing influence, position, or something we treasure deeply. Fear distorts judgment and feeds division. Yet God’s Word speaks directly to our fear: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). A wise third party can help calm our fears and point us back to faith in God’s sovereignty.

4. Our Tempers Need Restraint. Anger is a dangerous spark in any conflict. The presence of a neutral mediator can help keep emotions in check and set boundaries for respectful conversation. James writes, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). Godly counsel provides space for anger to cool and for grace to work.

5. We Need Encouragement. Conflict often leaves us weary, discouraged, and tempted to lose hope. A trusted encourager can remind us that our hope is not in winning an argument but in Christ Himself. “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 42:11). Outside help can point us back to the unshakable foundation we have in Jesus.

Closing Thought: Conflict is hard, but it can also be an invitation from the Lord to grow in grace. When we seek wise help, we are walking in humility and trusting God to bring peace where strife once ruled. Remember, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Prayer: Lord, when conflict comes, remind us that our hope is in You. Give us humility to seek help, courage to face our fears, and faith to trust Your Word. Make us instruments of Your peace, so that Christ may be glorified in His church. Amen.

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Popularity Vs. Purpose

Posted in Discipleship, Funny, Life Happens5 Comments

One of my favorite books of the Bible is the Gospel of Mark. I appreciate his “just the facts” approach to the story of Jesus. Mark doesn’t waste words—he gets right to the point.

Recently, I had to smile as I read this passage:

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: ‘Everyone is looking for you!’ Jesus replied, ‘Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.’”
—Mark 1:35–38 (NIV)

Doesn’t that strike you as odd? Just as the crowds were gathering, Jesus slipped away. Most leaders chase the spotlight. They dream of filling stadiums, building platforms, and gathering followers. But Jesus? When His ratings spiked—He took a hike. When the numbers were high—He said goodbye. When the crowds grew—He bid them adieu.

Unusual? Absolutely. But deeply instructive. What can we learn from this surprising moment?

3 Keys to Following God

1. God’s plan is rarely like our plan. We’re drawn to the predictable, the practical, and the popular. But God often leads us into the unexpected, the unconventional, even the unthinkable. His ways are higher than ours. Trust Him, even when His path doesn’t match your plan.

2. Don’t be shaped by others’ expectations. Like many, I struggle with being a people-pleaser. The opinions of others weigh heavily on me. But in the end, there is only one opinion that matters. We are called to live for an audience of One. Pleasing God must always outweigh pleasing people.

3. Never exchange good for God. Not everything that is “good” is God’s will for you. There are many good things we could do, but they aren’t always the things He is leading us to do. The real challenge is learning to discern the difference.

Summary: When we see Jesus walk away from the crowds, we’re reminded: God’s ways are not man’s ways. Following Him means trading popularity for purpose, applause for obedience, and good intentions for God’s direction.

Which of these three keys speaks most to where you are today?

Making Good Decisions

Posted in Church Chat1 Comment

Decisions

It’s sobering to consider, but decisions we make today can have an effect on the rest of our lives. Current decisions can also affect our churches and ministries for years to come. I find some excellent decision-making guidance in Genesis 25 from the story of Jacob and Esau. Esau found himself in a position of extreme hunger from a hunting trip. In his “weakened” state, he made a quick, foolish decision, that cost him and his descendants his birthright.

4 keys to making good decisions:

  1. Make slow decisions. Esau got in a hurry and made a quick decision. Surely he knew that his birthright was worth far more than a bowl of soup, but he made an emotional, weakened decision. One of the devil’s sneakiest tricks is to get us to make quick, snap decisions. Many times we regret these types of decisions for years to come.
  2. Make joint decisions. Esau should have consulted someone. Anyone! Anyone except his scheming brother Jacob. Anyone who truly cared about him would have told him not to trade away his birthright while they handed him a Snickers bar. We should do our best to never make decisions alone.
  3. Make rationale decisions. We can’t make good decisions if we don’t honestly consider the facts. Esau said that he was about to die from hunger which was certainly not the case. He made a bad decision because the truth became blurry to him. The truth is often blurry these days, but we must remember that facts are our friends when it comes to making decisions.
  4. Make eternity-minded decisions. We should always keep in mind that what we do for Christ is really what will stand throughout eternity. With that in mind, we should decide to use our time, talents, and treasures in eternity-minded ways, especially during these challenging days.

Prayer: “Lord, help us to be wise when it comes to making decisions. Help us to make decisions carefully, but with courage. Help us to be willing to lead, but humble in seeking counsel. Help us to clearly see the truth and to keep eternity in view as we live our lives! May Your Name be exalted and may souls be saved as a result of the decisions that we make. Amen.”

Is It a Sin to Be Rich?

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Rich

Is it a sin to be rich? Although most of us do not consider ourselves “rich,” the truth is, we are rich in every sense of the word. Americans who are poverty-level are rich compared to most of the world. One-fifth of the world’s population lives on less than $1 a day. Yes, we’re rich! So that leads to the question, is it a sin to be rich? 1 Timothy 6:6-10 provides insight on this important topic.

6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:6-10 (NKJV)

In this passage, Paul gives us several reminders about money….

Money Reminders

  • God owns everything. The reason we bring nothing into the world and take nothing out of the world is because it all belongs to God in the first place. We’re not owners; we’re managers. We manage what God gives us to manage.
  • It’s our attitude that counts. When it comes to money, attitude is everything. Paul reminds us that godliness should be the thing we most want to accomplish. If we are godly, we will be content. We cannot be godly if we do not have an attitude of contentment that is based on our knowledge that God owns everything and that He will meet our needs.
  • We can’t take it with us. Paul tells us that we take nothing out of this world. Although we can’t take it with us, Jesus taught that we can send “treasures” on ahead as we serve God faithfully (Matthew 6:19-24).
  • Money can cause us to fall away. We must always be on guard against the dangers of money. In 1 Timothy 6:9-10, Paul says we can be lured by the temptation of wanting to be rich. He calls it a trap, and describes it as foolish and harmful. He says that it leads to ruin and destruction.

No, it IS NOT a sin to be rich, but it is a PITY to be confused about what’s really important in life. It IS NOT a sin to be rich, but it is sad beyond words when a person does not understand the “true riches” that come from a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Bible Leadership

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One of the greatest privileges of my ministry has been walking alongside pastors, leaders, and churches as they strive to be faithful to Christ. I’ve seen the blessings of godly leadership and the pain that comes when leadership goes astray. The Bible has much to say about how leaders are to serve, and when we look closely, we find a model of leadership that is both timeless and transformational.

5 Keys to Bible Leadership

1. Leadership Begins with Humility. Jesus gave us the pattern for leadership:

“But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43–45)

True greatness in God’s eyes is not found in lording authority over others but in stooping low to serve. As pastors, deacons, and church leaders, we are called to model the humility of Christ.

2. Leadership Requires Wisdom. I’ve discovered that no leader can walk alone. Solomon reminds us:

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)

The wisest leaders know when to seek advice and when to listen. In my own journey, godly counsel from mentors and friends has often made the difference between a rash decision and a wise step forward.

3. Leadership Models Integrity. Paul challenged Timothy with these words:

“Set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12)

Integrity is the bedrock of leadership. People may forget what we preach on Sunday, but they won’t forget the life we live before them Monday through Saturday.

4. Leadership Shepherds the Flock. Peter’s instruction to pastors still speaks clearly today:

“Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly.” (1 Peter 5:2)

This reminds us that leadership is not about driving people, but about guiding, protecting, and nurturing them. A faithful shepherd walks with the flock and always points them to Jesus.

5. Leadership Depends on God’s Strength. Every leader—Moses, Joshua, David, Paul—discovered they could not lead in their own strength. God said to Joshua:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

That same promise holds true today. No leader stands alone—God’s presence is our strength and courage.

A Final Word: Biblical leadership is not about building our own platform. It is about faithfully following Christ and helping others do the same. As Paul wrote, “Follow me, as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

My prayer is that those of us called to lead—in the church, in our homes, and in our communities—will lead like Christ: humbly, wisely, with integrity, as shepherds who depend on the Lord.

✝️ Thanks for reading. If this post encouraged you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can connect with me at stephencraigrice.com.