5 Reasons to Seek Help with Conflict

In their helpful book Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling remind us that there are times when it is wise to involve others in the midst of church conflict. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of humility and wisdom. Proverbs 11:14 tells us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

Here are five reasons why inviting an outside, godly helper can bring clarity and healing when conflict arises.

1. We Have Blind Spots. Conflict clouds our vision. Because we are emotionally invested, we often cannot see clearly. Others, especially those who are impartial, can discern perspectives we may miss. Scripture reminds us, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart” (Proverbs 21:2). A wise and godly third party can help us see what God sees more clearly.

2. We Forget the Truth. When our hearts are weighed down by burdens, it is easy to lose sight of God’s truth. A faithful helper can gently turn our eyes back to what is good and right. The apostle Paul exhorts us: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). God often uses the encouragement of others to lift our thoughts back to His promises.

3. Our Fear Is Powerful. Fear can quickly take control when we feel we are losing influence, position, or something we treasure deeply. Fear distorts judgment and feeds division. Yet God’s Word speaks directly to our fear: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). A wise third party can help calm our fears and point us back to faith in God’s sovereignty.

4. Our Tempers Need Restraint. Anger is a dangerous spark in any conflict. The presence of a neutral mediator can help keep emotions in check and set boundaries for respectful conversation. James writes, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). Godly counsel provides space for anger to cool and for grace to work.

5. We Need Encouragement. Conflict often leaves us weary, discouraged, and tempted to lose hope. A trusted encourager can remind us that our hope is not in winning an argument but in Christ Himself. “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 42:11). Outside help can point us back to the unshakable foundation we have in Jesus.

Closing Thought: Conflict is hard, but it can also be an invitation from the Lord to grow in grace. When we seek wise help, we are walking in humility and trusting God to bring peace where strife once ruled. Remember, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Prayer: Lord, when conflict comes, remind us that our hope is in You. Give us humility to seek help, courage to face our fears, and faith to trust Your Word. Make us instruments of Your peace, so that Christ may be glorified in His church. Amen.

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Bible Leadership

One of the greatest privileges of my ministry has been walking alongside pastors, leaders, and churches as they strive to be faithful to Christ. I’ve seen the blessings of godly leadership and the pain that comes when leadership goes astray. The Bible has much to say about how leaders are to serve, and when we look closely, we find a model of leadership that is both timeless and transformational.

5 Keys to Bible Leadership

1. Leadership Begins with Humility. Jesus gave us the pattern for leadership:

“But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:43–45)

True greatness in God’s eyes is not found in lording authority over others but in stooping low to serve. As pastors, deacons, and church leaders, we are called to model the humility of Christ.

2. Leadership Requires Wisdom. I’ve discovered that no leader can walk alone. Solomon reminds us:

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)

The wisest leaders know when to seek advice and when to listen. In my own journey, godly counsel from mentors and friends has often made the difference between a rash decision and a wise step forward.

3. Leadership Models Integrity. Paul challenged Timothy with these words:

“Set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12)

Integrity is the bedrock of leadership. People may forget what we preach on Sunday, but they won’t forget the life we live before them Monday through Saturday.

4. Leadership Shepherds the Flock. Peter’s instruction to pastors still speaks clearly today:

“Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly.” (1 Peter 5:2)

This reminds us that leadership is not about driving people, but about guiding, protecting, and nurturing them. A faithful shepherd walks with the flock and always points them to Jesus.

5. Leadership Depends on God’s Strength. Every leader—Moses, Joshua, David, Paul—discovered they could not lead in their own strength. God said to Joshua:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

That same promise holds true today. No leader stands alone—God’s presence is our strength and courage.

A Final Word: Biblical leadership is not about building our own platform. It is about faithfully following Christ and helping others do the same. As Paul wrote, “Follow me, as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

My prayer is that those of us called to lead—in the church, in our homes, and in our communities—will lead like Christ: humbly, wisely, with integrity, as shepherds who depend on the Lord.


✝️ Thanks for reading. If this post encouraged you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can connect with me at stephencraigrice.com.

Being A Good Example

I’ve always wanted to be a good example, but that multiplied exponentially when I became a grandfather. The truth is, one of the greatest gifts we can give our family, co-workers, and other believers is the example of a faithful life. Paul reminded young Timothy of this truth when he wrote:

“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings… yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Timothy 3:10–12, ESV)

Paul wasn’t simply telling Timothy what to believe—he was showing him how to live. Timothy had seen Paul’s doctrine, his daily conduct, his endurance through hardship, and his unshakable faith. That’s the pattern for us today. If we want to influence others for Christ, we must be willing to let our lives speak as loudly as our words.

4 Ways to Be A Good Example

1. A Good Example Teaches Truth. Paul began with teaching. Right doctrine matters. People are being pulled in every direction by voices that deceive, but a faithful believer points to Scripture as the unchanging standard. To be a good example, you don’t need to know everything—but you must cling to the truth you do know, and pass it on with humility and confidence.

2. A Good Example Lives What They Teach. Doctrine without conduct is hypocrisy. Paul could say, “You’ve seen my teaching and my conduct.” The world may ignore our sermons, but it notices how we treat our spouse, how we handle money, how we respond when things don’t go our way. Every believer’s life is a message. The question is: is it pointing people toward Christ or away from Him?

3. A Good Example Endures with Faith and Patience. Paul’s life was marked by hardship—persecution, rejection, and even violence. Yet he remained steadfast. That kind of endurance only comes from faith. When we continue to love, serve, and trust God in the face of trials, people see that Jesus is real in us.

4. A Good Example Accepts That Persecution Will Come. Paul was clear: “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” The faithful life won’t always be easy or applauded. But our response in those moments—our patience, love, and steadfastness—shines the brightest witness. A Christian who suffers with grace proclaims the gospel more loudly than a thousand words ever could.

Summary: Being a good example is not about perfection—it’s about faithfulness. It means teaching truth, living consistently, enduring trials, and trusting God when the road is hard. When we do, others will see Jesus in us, and our lives will echo Paul’s words: “From them all the Lord rescued me.”

Closing Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for the faithful examples of Paul, Timothy, and so many others who have gone before us. Help me to live in such a way that my teaching and my conduct match, that my faith is steady, and that my love is sincere. When trials come, give me the patience and steadfastness I need to honor Christ. May my life point others to Jesus, not to myself. Keep me faithful, even when the road is hard, and remind me that You are always with me and will rescue me in the end. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Where Do I Fit in My Church?

Becoming part of a church family is one of the greatest blessings of following Jesus. Yet for new believers, it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Where do I belong? How can I serve? What role does God want me to play?

Take heart—God’s Word assures us that He has a purpose for each one of us in His church. “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:27). Here are five biblical truths to help you prayerfully find your place in His family.

1. Be Comfortable in Who You Are. God created you uniquely and purposefully. Psalm 139:14 reminds us, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” You don’t need to imitate others to fit in—you simply need to rest in who you are in Christ. When you walk confidently in your identity as God’s child, you’ll naturally connect with your church family.

2. Discover Your God-Given Gifts and Talents. The Holy Spirit equips every believer with gifts to build up the church. Romans 12:6 says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Ask the Lord to reveal your gifts and consider how your natural talents may be used for His glory. Whether it’s serving, teaching, encouraging, or showing mercy, your gifts have a place in His plan.

3. Learn from Others Around You. Proverbs 15:22 teaches, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Seek guidance from pastors, mentors, and trusted believers in your church. They may see strengths and opportunities you’ve overlooked. God often uses the wisdom of others to direct us to the right place of service.

4. Stay Open to Growth and Change. Your place in the church may shift over time as God shapes you. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Be willing to try new areas of ministry and allow God to stretch you. You may begin in one role and later discover an even deeper passion in another.

5. Pay Attention to Where God is Working. Jesus said, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17). Look around your church. Where is God moving? Where are the needs? Often, your place is found at the intersection of God’s work, your gifts, and the needs of others. Pray for eyes to see and a heart ready to serve.

Closing Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for placing me in Your family, the church. Help me to rest in who You made me to be. Reveal the gifts You’ve given me and show me where to use them for Your glory. Surround me with wise counsel, keep my heart open to new opportunities, and give me eyes to see where You are working. May my life bless others and bring honor to Christ, in whose name I pray. Amen.

8 Reasons to Hire An Interim Pastor

When a pastor leaves, the church enters a tender and often uncertain season. Even if the pastor’s departure was expected—or even welcomed—it still creates disruption. The transition between pastors is a vulnerable time, and how a church navigates it will often shape the future health of the congregation. One of the wisest steps a church can take is to hire an interim pastor. Here’s why:

1. The church needs consistency. Rotating guest preachers may seem like a solution, but it creates a revolving door in the pulpit. Without a steady voice, the church often experiences tension, confusion, and even division. An interim pastor provides stability and consistency week after week.

2. You safeguard doctrine. It’s far easier to vet and trust one qualified interim pastor than a new guest speaker every Sunday. A parade of different preachers—especially those without theological training—opens the door to doctrinal drift. An interim helps protect the pulpit and guard the truth.

3. The church needs space to grieve. When a beloved pastor leaves, there’s loss—whether people realize it or not. That loss must be acknowledged. An interim pastor provides the space and guidance needed for the church to process its grief, heal, and be ready to fully embrace its next shepherd.

4. A leadership void must be filled. The departure of a pastor leaves a vacuum. If it isn’t filled by a qualified leader, one of two things happens: either the church stalls without direction, or members step into roles they were never meant to hold—and may not want to give up once the new pastor arrives. An interim pastor prevents both pitfalls.

5. The Search Team needs breathing room. A pastor search committee carries a weighty responsibility. Without an interim, they feel pressure to rush the process. A wise interim pastor shoulders part of that burden, allowing the search team to move prayerfully and carefully instead of hastily.

6. Fresh eyes bring clarity. An interim pastor comes without preconceived notions. He notices things insiders may overlook—facility issues, worship dynamics, staffing challenges, or ministry gaps. His perspective can spark helpful conversations and positive change.

7. New ideas can bring momentum. Most interim pastors have years of ministry experience. They’ve seen what works—and what doesn’t—in a variety of contexts. Their ideas can inject fresh energy and keep the church moving forward instead of stagnating during the transition.

8. The staff needs pastoral guidance. Even the most capable church staff feels unsettled when the lead pastor’s chair sits empty. An interim pastor provides the leadership, accountability, and encouragement they need so they can continue to serve well until the new pastor arrives.

Final Thought. An interim pastor isn’t just a “placeholder.” He’s a bridge—helping the church move from one season to the next with health, stability, and hope. Churches that skip this step often regret it. Churches that embrace it often find themselves stronger, healthier, and more unified when their new pastor finally steps into the pulpit.

For more information or assistance in this area, please contact me at steve.rice@kybaptist.org or at 502-489-3434.