Category: Leadership

6 Things I Hated Hearing as a Pastor

Posted in Church Chat, Church Revitalization, Leadership, Ministry, Preaching, Uncategorized1 Comment

I just completed an interim pastor assignment at one of our fine Kentucky Baptist Convention Churches. On my final Sunday, folks were very gracious with words of appreciation and encouragement. Although that has been typical when I have served as an interim pastor, that was not always the case when I served as a regular pastor. Thankfully, I was blessed to hear great encouragement and much-needed, Godly advice through the years, but there were things that I always hated to hear as a pastor.

6 Things I Hated Hearing as a Pastor

1. People are saying. This usually mean’t that the person talking to me had a personal concern about something. As I matured as a pastor I began to ask “what people?” “Who exactly?” “Please ask them to come and talk with me because I would be happy to talk to them in person about his matter.”

“…what people? Who exactly?”

2. You should have told me about this. It’s true that communication is extremely important and there were times that I didn’t communicate well, but usually this phrase came from someone who simply wanted to control decisions. Although we went through all the proper church channels in making the decision, they were upset that their opinion was not sought.

3. You should preach on ___________. Church members should feel the freedom to offer sermon topics to their pastor. Personally, I’ve been overly defensive at times in this area. It wasn’t the suggestion itself, but the motive and spirit behind the suggestion that really got under my skin.

“…really got under my skin.”

4. If you’re in the area. “If you’re in the area, drop by and see my uncle that I haven’t spoken to in 25 years.” This type of request always made me feel guilty. Usually they were referring to someone who lived hours away. I made a few of these visits through the years, but they often felt very awkward. The person making the “suggestion” was actually the one who needed to go see their uncle instead of asking me to do so.

5. No one came and saw me in the hospital. I know that I failed to make some hospital visits through the years, but this statement usually came from someone who never let the church know that they were in the hospital. With the new privacy laws surrounding one’s medical records and COVID restrictions, a church has NO WAY of knowing unless someone tells them.

6. That will never work. Sometimes this phrase is accompanied with “our last pastor tried that and it didn’t work.” The fact that the last pastor also felt led to try the same thing is evidence that God is leading in that direction. Very likely the timing just wasn’t right when the last pastor tried it. This phrase usually comes from individuals who do not like change.

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Learning from a Pig

Posted in Church Chat, Conflict, Funny, Leadership, Life HappensLeave a comment

PigThe Hatfield and McCoy feud started over ownership of one lone pig. In the late 1800’s it was common for Eastern Kentuckians to turn their swine loose to forage freely until time to round them up for slaughter. Each porker sported a distinctive family “brand” that identified him as a “Jones, McCoy, Hatfield, Rice, etc.” The long-lasting feud began because one family believed the other family had killed and eaten one of their pigs.

For an entire decade I had the privilege of pastoring smack-dab in the middle of the feud area with several Hatfields and McCoys as active members of my church. The thing that many do not understand about “The Feud” is that it lasted for many years. The hatred and bitterness brewed with killings happening after long periods of dormant feud activity.

…or you might find yourself feudin’ over pig’s feet!

The Bible instructs us not to let little things brew and fester. Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” Don’t let things build up over time or you might find yourself “feudin’ over pig’s feet” (Interpretation: fighting over insignificant matters.)

    5 Mistakes During Conflict

    Posted in Book Reviews, Church Chat, Church Consulting, Conflict, Deacon, Discipleship, Leadership, Ministry, PreachingLeave a comment

    We are increasingly seeing conflict in society in general and in our local churches specifically. In their book entitled Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care, Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling did a great job defining conflict and uncovering what the Bible says we should do when conflict arises. In the first chapter, they shared five mistakes that most people make when conflict happens. These mistakes are the beginning of a tragic downward spiral.

    5 Mistakes People Make During Conflict

    1. We think OUR evaluation of the situation is always right. I’ve made this mistake and you have as well. It’s easy and natural to do, but it’s not best to do. In order to resolve conflict, we must be open to listen to the “other side” and be willing to consider that we are not totally right on the issue.

    2. We treat people differently than God treats US. God treats us with love and grace. He forgives us when we don’t deserve it. During conflict, we often treat the other person with contempt and disrespect which leads us to disdain their perspective.

    3. We assume that God is on OUR side. Although we may accept that those on the other side of the conflict are believers, we believe that we uniquely have God’s attention, care, and blessing more than our opponents do.

    4. We become DEFENSIVE. As soon as we become defensive, we become closed and narrow. We believe that God takes our side on the issue and condemns those on the other side of the conflict in the same way that we do.

    5. We are marked by PRIDE and selfishness. These characteristics are not from the Lord. Instead, Christ wants us to be marked by humility and love which leads toward reconciliation.

    Conflict is a normal part of life. No one is exempt! But, as believers, God calls us to respond differently than the world and to DO OUR BEST to resolve the conflict.

    If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18 (NKJV)

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    The Dream Church

    Posted in Church Chat, Church Consulting, Church Revitalization, Conflict, Deacon, Discipleship, Evangelism, Leadership, Ministry, Preaching, WorshipLeave a comment

    I love serving and helping our Kentucky Baptist Convention churches. I’ve been privileged to serve Kentucky Baptist churches for 36 years with 28 years in the local church and 8 years on the KBC staff. I have hope for the future of Kentucky Baptist churches. In this post, I’m going to dream about where our KBC churches are going by asking the question “what if”.

    What if we could create places where every person began to discover his or her place and purpose in God’s great big world? Imagine! What if our churches were places where people could be “real” and relationships could go well beneath the surface? Imagine!  What if our churches were places where “second chances” really existed? Imagine! What if you found a place that helped you to be the person God created you to be in one of our churches?  Imagine!

    What if? Isn’t that a great question? What if? Imagine…I think I will!…I imagine our KBC churches to be places of diversity where people from all walks of life can find acceptance and fulfillment. I imagine our churches to be a people who are not afraid to believe God for the impossible. I imagine our churches to be a people who embrace the future without forgetting the past. I imagine our churches to be churches who value one’s service over one’s standing. I imagine our churches to be places where people encounter Jesus on a weekly basis and experience real life-change as result.

    I believe we are doing well in many of these areas. I commend our churches, their pastors, and their leaders. But, as in all areas of life, we can make improvements. Let’s continue to be open to the leadership of the Holy Spirit, continue to turn our focus to Christ, and continue to seek improvement and excellence for God’s ultimate glory!

    2019 KBC Holy Land Trip

    Posted in Church Chat, Deacon, Discipleship, Leadership, Ministry, Preaching, WorshipLeave a comment

    On behalf of staff at the Kentucky Baptist Convention, I invite you to join me on our next KBC trip to the Holy Land on October 29-November 7, 2019. All Kentucky Baptists are invited to join us as we walk in the footsteps of Jesus. You will never read the Bible the same again after traveling to Israel. I have tried to explain it by saying “before my trip to Israel, I read the Bible in black and white; now I read it in living color.”

    …before my trip to Israel, I read the Bible in black and white; now I read it in living color.

    I am organizing the trip again through Jerusalem Tours. This will be the third time I have personally traveled to the Holy Land with this company—they are among the highest rated in the business!

    We invite pastors, church staff, church members, Directors of Missions, along with any believers to join us as we walk in the footsteps of Jesus. We have negotiated a great price of $4,189 per person that includes flights from Louisville or Cincinnati, hotels, touring, meals, tips, fuel charges, etc. We encourage churches to consider sending their pastor(s) and his wife on this trip of a lifetime.

    If you are interested or if you have any questions, please email me at steve.rice@kybaptist.org or contact me at 502-489-3434. Reserve your spot before the trip fills up!